Never forget
by brattyteenagewerewolf
Summary: They'd changed, Tino and Lukas can't deny that as they look at the men they love. All they want is to know the truth so that they can help return the men they fell for to what they once were but some things can't be forgotten. Sufin, Dennor, past SuDen/DenSu, minor mentions of encounters between all the nordics. non-con


**A/N: I got accepted into university. I should be ecstatic over the fact but I'm not because of something I found out not even twelve hours after getting accepted. A childhood friend of mine's sister (I was close to her entire family) committed suicide the other day and I only found out this morning. She may never have known that I wrote fanfiction and we may not have spoken in around a decade because I moved countries but regardless this fic is for her.**

**I'm sorry Noni, I'm sorry I never knew that you were suffering. I'm sorry I never got the chance to help you, I would have fought for you had I known. I'm sorry that I didn't keep in touch more. I'm sorry that you thought this was the only way out. I'm sorry I'm not there to comfort your sister. I'm sorry for leaving and for the 'what if's I'm thinking about. I'm sorry for not knowing whether or not I could have saved you had I chosen a different path. I'm sorry that I'm too proud to let most people see how your death is affecting me. I'm sorry that all I can say is that I'm sorry. May the god and goddess protect and guide you Noni, I'm sorry.**

**Noni Maria Winter- 9/9/1995 – 27/1/2013**

**I will never forget. Rest in peace.**

_She mourns beneath the moonlit sky_

_Remembering when they said goodbye_

_Where's the one he used to know_

_It seems so long ago_

_And when the golden sun arises far across the sea_

_The dawn will break as darkness fades, forever we'll be free_

_Never forget what I did, what I said_

_When I gave you all my heart and soul_

_Morning will come and I know we'll be one_

_Cause I still believe that you'll remember me_

_Never forget - Greta Sal__ó__me and J__ó__nsi_

"He was too rough again wasn't he?" Lukas stated as he sipped at his coffee. His blunt comment made Tino flush. He knew the other tended to be very blatant with his words but it still made him uncomfortable even if he envied the ability to say it as it was. The Finn always found himself blushing and stumbling over words if he was the one who brought up this sort of topic.

The pair were sitting together in the home that the Norwegian shared with Matthias, each holding onto a steaming cup of coffee. The Dane was nowhere nearby for a change, having taken off to do god knows what when he'd heard that Berwald and Tino were coming round. The second Lukas had told him so he'd mumbled something about going drinking with Gilbert and left as quickly as possible. The obnoxious blond had no problem with the Finn; the pair getting along like a house on fire most of the time.

The swede however…

Matthias decision to go elsewhere to avoid seeing the tall blond however proved foundless. Berwald had merely dropped his self-proclaimed wife off and left to avoid seeing the Dane. Their partners refusal to even be in the same room as the other (with the exception of world meetings and even then it was only Ludwig's threats and the promise of being given seats on opposite sides of the hall that enabled them to stomach it) was starting to grow on Lukas's and Tino's nerves.

"I don't know… it wasn't too bad…" the Finn mumbled, trying to hide his discomfort with a sip of coffee. "He doesn't do it on purpose after all."

Lukas raised an eyebrow. "Tino, I saw you limping and you're currently sitting as though you're perched on broken glass rather than cushions. You can't lie and say he wasn't too rough with you."

"He doesn't mean to hurt me though, and it's nice sometimes." The slighter smaller blond shrugged. "I'm not made of glass…"

"I agree that its sometimes nice but you can't tell me that you like it rough all the time. God knows I'd kill Matthias if he didn't back off and let me dictate the pace every so often…" The Norwegian pointed out, his choice of words making the Finn blush a bit more.

"Okay, maybe I would like it a bit gentler but it doesn't matter. I think Berwald prefers it like it is."

"Tino. If Berwald is anything like Matthias it isn't that he prefers it like that." The Norwegian argued, setting his empty mug down to look at Tino. His face was just as blank as it always was but there was a glint of something in his dark blue eyes. "Personally I think it's just because they're too oblivious to realise that there's better ways to have sex that actually feels good for both parties."

"I don't know… we've been doing it like this for years…"

"And can you honestly say you enjoy it?"

"Well… yes, I guess…"

"Answer me honestly Tino. Can you truthfully say that you enjoy every painful minute of having sex with Berwald?"

"He does make me feel good eventually…"

"You're not a masochist Tino." Lukas smiled knowingly as the Finn sighed. "And masochistic or not, there's only so much of that sort of treatment someone can take before getting fed up."

"So Matthias is the same then?" Tino asked, ignoring the fact that the Norwegian had admitted to having a masochistic streak. He supposed it came from living during the Viking age.

"Very much so. The amount of times I've had to kick him to the couch because he didn't even bother stretching me or using lube is immense." He grumbled before leaning back in his seat with a sigh. "But at least I can and do stand up for myself. Do you ever do so?"

The Finn scratched his head sheepishly, draining the rest of his coffee. "I don't want to hurt him."

"You hurt him more by not telling him. He doesn't like hurting you; I can see it every time you end up walking with a limp." Lukas interrupted. "How is he meant to learn and treat you better if he doesn't know what he's meant to be doing?"

Tino remained silent, not sure of how to respond. The Norwegian nodded at the other's silence.

"Exactly. The thing about Matthias and Berwald is that they are a bit idiotic. And don't deny it Tino," he ordered when the Finn opened his mouth to protest. "Face it, when was the last time they had a conversation with one another, let alone a civil one?"

"Not since the start of the second world war…"

"Exactly and that was the first time since the Kalmar union fell apart, they hold onto grudges like you wouldn't believe. They're stubborn too, it took me months to try and convince Matthias that he didn't need to dominate me or bend me to his will…"

"Joo, Berwald can also be like that." Tino admitted.

Lukas nodded. "What I find strange is that they weren't always like that. I'm sure you remember the Viking age even if Berwald often ordered you to stay out of the raids. I'm sure you remember the few raids he did take you on along with ones with the rest of us."

The Finn remembered them; it was hard to forget those times where the mix of bloodlust and adrenaline combined in such a way that taking another was commonplace. Sometimes it would be a victim of the raid who suffered but not always. It hadn't always been forced, not when another was nearby and willing.

He remembered Berwald's rough but still tender hands on him.

He remembered Matthias's enthusiasm in the act.

He remembered Emil's hesitance and his stoic mask slipping.

He remembered, with a blush as he avoided the man's gaze, Lukas's surprisingly strong arms holding him close.

It was never love. It was just an act on a whim back then, something that needed to be taken care of with whoever was closest. It had always been consensual, always caring despite their own desperation. He'd known them all intimately back then and it had been likewise with every one of the Nordic nations. Even Berwald and Matthias had been close friends back then.

With the end of the Viking age though it had stopped completely. There had been no more reason for it so it had ceased and in that time something had happened. Berwald's touches were no longer so careful; he was rougher as though desperate to remain in control.

He sighed, nodding slightly. "Joo, I remember…"

Lukas returned the nod. "They've both changed since then," he murmured softly. "And they won't even look at each other now. It as though they've forgotten what it means to love."

"Is there anything we can do to change it though? If they've been like this for so long…" Tino mumbled as the Norwegian chuckled bitterly.

"There's always a way Tino. If we can get them past whatever issue they have with each other maybe we can change them for the better." The dark blond explained knowingly. Already he was working up a plan to try and turn everything back to how it had been. After all, even he was growing a bit sick of the pair's attitude and behaviour.

.o.)O(.o.

"yer sure that Denmark won' be there?" Berwald asked sceptically as he followed after Tino. The Finn was leading him to a small out of the way café after receiving an invitation from Lukas.

The smaller blond rolled his eyes. "Joo Berwald. I already told you that Lukas said that Matthias was going out today." He lied. He supposed that he was lucky that the taller nation never doubted his words though he did feel a rush of guilt at his lie. Especially when he saw the swede breathe a sigh of relief at his word, not for a moment believing that Tino would lie to him.

He told himself it was for the man's own good as he walked into the café. Lukas glanced up as the bell above the door twinkled merrily at their entrance. The Norwegian had previously been looking out the window with a bored expression, fingers tapping the table impatiently as though waiting for something. The lack of coffee on the table immediately cleared that up along with a certain Dane's absence.

"Lukas, nice to see you again!" Tino said cheerfully, allowing Berwald to sit down first before taking the end of the booth seat. If the swede suspected anything he didn't show it, nodding in greeting to the bored looking Norwegian opposite him. He stiffened as another voice joined them, not even having to turn to recognise its owner.

"Sorry I took so long Norge, there was a bit of a queue..." Matthias's voice faded into stunned silence as the coffees slipped from his grasp to shatter on the floor. He didn't seem to notice though, not even reacting when hot coffee stained his clothes. Instead his eyes were fixed on Berwald's blue green ones.

There was no friendliness in either of their faces, both glaring fiercely. "Sverige."

"Danmark."

"Lukas, can I speak to you for a moment." Matthias forced out, not taking his eyes off of the swede.

The Norwegian sighed, giving a single warning glance in Berwald's direction before standing. "You two stay right here, I'll be right back." He ordered. Once he was gone the swede immediately turned to Tino, an eyebrow raised expectantly when he saw the guilty look on the nation's face.

.o.)O(.o.

"Lukas, care to explain what's going on?" Matthias growled as he pulled the man into the bathroom. It was small and impossibly crowded by the taller blond's raging emotions but it was still as far from Berwald as the man could hope for. "What the hell is he doing here?"

The Norwegian appeared unconcerned by the Danish nation's anger, not even batting an eyelid. He'd experienced all the emotions the Dane could throw at him and knew each one intimately. He could tell just by the other's body language that the anger was unlikely to be directed at him anytime soon and even if it was he knew he could handle it. He may have been smaller but he was just as good a fighter if pushed.

"He's here because I asked Tino to bring him along. We've both had enough of your nonsense." He dead panned, eyes appearing bored despite watching the Dane intently as he read into every little movement.

"It doesn't concern you Lukas…" the Norwegian's eyes hardened at that, his entire form stiffening. He didn't think he'd ever heard Matthias go this long without reverting to one of his soppy nicknames.

"Yes it does Matthias. I'm sick of you being such a selfish ass in bed because of whatever happened between you and Berwald! Do you think I like having to kick and shout at you just to ensure I don't have to go out with a limp? Do you think I like you leaving marks on every solitary inch of my body?" Lukas snapped, watching as the Dane flinched at the reminder.

"Lukas… you know I'm sorry about that…"

"Yes, I've heard it all before. If you're sorry than why don't you try to deal with it? It obviously stems from whatever issues you have with Berwald because you never had a problem before that. Just go in there and apologise for whatever dickish move you pulled."

Matthias's eyes were as hard as sapphires as he stared at the Norwegian before laughing bitterly. "And what makes you think that I'm the one who needs to apologise?" he asked softly, almost inaudibly. "You don't have a clue what made us the way we are."

"I don't have a clue because you won't speak to me about. I've asked you about it several times Matthias but you refuse to trust me with it. I've accepted that and won't pry further but enough's enough."

"It's not a matter of trust Lukas, you know I would trust you with my life…" the Dane murmured after a moment of silence. He sighed, a hand messing his hair up further than its usual messy style.

"If it's not trust then what is it?"

"I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to hate me for it and I don't want to destroy what you and Tino have by turning you against Sweden." Matthias murmured, his blue eyes were fixed on the Norwegian's darker ones. "Tell me Lukas, do you truly want to know what happened between Sweden and I?"

A part of Lukas wanted to shake his head and say no, he could tell from the seriousness in the Dane's eyes that whatever it was wasn't a normal falling out. Matthias was very rarely serious; it just wasn't in his nature. But there was none of his light heartedness in his gaze, none of the usual cocky arrogance. Instead there was only bitterness and anger in those blue depths. He'd seen the other blond laugh in the middle of a bloody battleground, seen him joking when his injuries should have left him an inch from death and groaning in pain. Never had he seen those emotions displayed so prominently.

The Norwegian sighed, nodding before he could tell him not to tell him. No matter what he said, no matter what painful truths he was told he had to know.

.o.)O(.o.

"ya said he wouldn' be here." Berwald growled, his face set in a fierce scowl that would have had most people cringing in their seats if not bolting from the room. Once upon a time Tino also would have reacted like that but he'd known the swede for too long. He didn't even flinch at the stern gaze fixed on him; he could see the hurt under the anger.

"I know I did… but Berwald, you need to sort this out." He sighed softly before continuing. "Lukas and I have been talking to each other about it and we think it's time for you to make up."

"I can' forgive him fer what he did Tino. 'nd he won' forgive me fer what I did."

His hesitant words piqued the Finn's curiosity but he pushed on, ignoring them for the time being. "You have to Berwald… it's starting to affect us…" he admitted, not able to look up and see the hurt he knew would be in the other nation's eyes. He was one of the few people who could see those slight emotional shifts and he knew exactly what would be on his face at his words.

He flinched when he felt a hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at the Swede. "Is that what ya really think Tino?"

Tino nodded guiltily. "Joo, I do…" he didn't need to explain why; he could see it in the other's face that he understood. He could see the memories of every time the Finn had been hurt by his hand (regardless of it being unintentional) in his eyes. "Please Berwald? Can you just try for me?"

"I don' think I can Tino… there's more ta it than ya realise..."

The Finn sighed, eyebrows tilting downwards in a slight frown. "Then explain it to me."

"I don' think ya want ta hear it."

"I'm not some ignorant colony Berwald! Whatever it is you feel you can't tell me I'm sure I can handle. I saw the Viking ages, both world wars and the cold war, hell even the Kalmar union wasn't exactly a piece of cake." The swede could see the truth in Tino's eyes even though he wanted to deny it. Sometimes he forgot that the man (who still looked and acted so innocent) had also seen a lot, his eyes were ancient as they held his gaze.

But this wasn't something simple. "ah don' know Tino… it's bad…"

"I don't care Berwald. I love you, and I'll love you regardless of what you tell me." The smaller blond promised. His eyes were sincere and Berwald found himself sighing softly before he opened his mouth to speak.

.o.)O(.o.

"I guess I was a dick… I can't take all the blame but some of it does rest on me… I started it, started everything, Berwald just ended it." Matthias started slowly, searching for the words he needed. His eyes were distant, seeing scenes centuries old instead of the man in front of him.

"You remember what it was like. We started out without any problems, hell we were all close." The Dane sighed, shaking his head. "I don't know whether it was one wrong timed word or action, it could have been anything really… but Sweden suddenly refused to work with me. He fought me on every decision, no matter how big or small."

Lukas nodded, not wanting to interrupt the other blond as he continued speaking.

.o.)O(.o.

"Ah was angry at him. We were no longer discussin' plans 'nd decisions like we always did, he was takin' charge on them all. He expecte' us ta do what he said." Berwald shook his head bitterly at the memories. "ya know what ah'm like Tino, ah don' like ta be bosse' around."

"we starte' fightin' more. We'd always argue' but now not a day wen' by withou' us fightin'. It was like we were back in the vikin' era all over again… but we were no longer allies, we were enemies."

Tino frowned; he could sense that something big must have happened. The Viking era had been terrifying if your enemy had been one of the Nordic countries. The things they had done to their enemies were awful to think about.

"Ah don' know who it was that completely snappe' firs' but the resul' was the same…"

.o.)O(.o.

"I couldn't help it. My blood was up and we were both bruised and bloody, him more so than me. He was at my feet and completely at my mercy. It was wrong of me, I know that but I was no longer in the present… I might as well have been on a Viking raid. I didn't see my friend before me, struggling to get to his feet, I saw a conquered enemy." Matthias sighed, guilt in his eyes.

"…what did you do Matthias?" Lukas asked, already dreading the answer.

"…I forced him to submit. I held him down and ignored him when he begged me to stop. I held him down and prevented him from fighting back as I took the only thing he had left to offer me. I raped him Lukas…"

.o.)O(.o.

Tino's eyes were wide as he stared at the swede. He hadn't expected that, he hadn't expected the man he considered so strong to have been completely torn apart by the man he considered a friend. If the memory hurt Berwald he didn't show it, hiding it behind a stern mask. The Finn couldn't help but wonder what else was hidden behind that mask.

He'd known that the tall blond had had relations with Matthias before settling down with Tino. They all had had similar relations once after all. But that had all been consensual even if it wasn't based on love. It had stopped after the Viking era as well, or so he'd thought.

"ah fough' even harder after that… ah tried ta get free of him." Berwald explained as he shook his head. He didn't even seem to see Tino anymore, his gaze distant. "ya know abou' the scar on my ches'…"

The Finn nodded hesitantly, struggling to find the words to speak. He knew which scar he was speaking of, the one that stretched across his chest in remembrance of a vicious wound that had laid him open from shoulder to hip. "You told me Matthias gave it to you during a fight." He murmured. He could remember that conversation as if it had been only minutes ago. It had been one of the reasons why he had chosen the swede over the Dane.

"That wasn' the whole story…"

.o.)O(.o.

"it was the only time I ever bothered to actually look him in the face as I did it… you know what Sweden's like, he's a fighter, it was the only time I was able to look him in the face. He was still fighting me but it was nothing like what he's truly capable of…" Matthias sighed, lost in his memories.

"I guess he'd lost too much blood to really put up a fight, I didn't even have to hold him down at the end of it… he was just limp, as though he'd completely given up. I can still feel his blood on my skin even though I didn't give a damn at the time…"

"It was his eyes that did it. Have you ever seen someone you cared for deeply looking at you with such hate and anguish that you wish you'd never been born? Because that's how I felt afterwards… he was in agony had been from the beginning and I'd still done that to him…" he avoided looking in the mirror hanging on the wall as he spoke. He knew that if he chanced a glance it wouldn't be his current reflection he'd see.

He'd see himself as he'd been that day when he'd truly broken the swede. He'd see himself with bloody skin and lust filled eyes, an arrogant smirk on his lips. He shivered slightly, continuing before he could inadvertently look in the mirror.

"I felt guiltier than you could possibly believe; god knows Sweden doesn't believe I felt guilty over it. And why should he? I'd raped him multiple times without any trace of guilt so why should that one time mean any different? He passed out around then… I don't even know how he'd stayed conscious that length of time considering how badly he was bleeding…"

"…and you carried him home." Lukas mumbled, remembering just as clearly as the Dane was. He'd been back at the house looking after Emil and Tino when Matthias had stumbled through the door, knees buckling under the swede's weight. "I remember. You brought him home and you were freaking out… I shouted at you for hurting him so badly and kicked you out so that the rest of us could patch him up. He never knew that you'd been the one to bring him home because you weren't there when he finally woke up…"

"He knew… I told him."

.o.)O(.o.

"ah hate' him… can ya blame me fer it? After everythin' he'd done ta me…" Berwald shook his head, not wanting to look into Tino's pitying gaze. God knows he didn't deserve it… "he aske' me to accompany him weeks after that happene'... he seeme' hesitan', as if he didn' think ah'd go with him. Ah don' know why ah did… what happene' ruine' everythin' we had left."

"Did he… rape… you again?" Tino had to force the word out, having trouble even linking the action to Matthias.

"nej, he wante' ta apologise. Ya could see he felt bad about it, he couldn' even look at me as he said it. he looked like it was eatin' him up… he explaine' how he felt about it all 'nd how he'd realize' it, how he wante' ta start over… he even told me about how he'd been the one ta carry me home after the last time he'd rape' me and why he didn' just leave me fer the wolves ta find..."

"I don't understand… what was so bad about him apologising?"

"ah didn' let him finish… he was standin' there, completely vulnerable 'nd havin' the nerve ta say he was sorry fer what he put me through. It was as if what he did ta me mean' nothin'…" he finally looked up at the Finn, his eyes guilty behind steel-rimmed glasses. "he wasn' expectin' it 'nd he was completely vulnerable… he didn' stand a chance when ah attacke' him."

He sighed softly. "ah wante' him to feel like ah'd felt. Ah wante' him to feel so useless 'nd weak. Ah wanted him to know the pain he'd put me through… ah raped him Tino. Ah was just as bad as he was…"

.o.)O(.o.

Lukas was silent, his usually blank eyes wide and filled with pain. He'd never known what he'd gone through… how could he not have known? He'd spent so many years with the man and he still hadn't realised how broken he'd been?

He hated himself. He hated that all he could do was stare as the man he loved told him his most painful and innermost secret.

It all made sense now… how desperate he was to control, how he'd forget that sex was meant to be enjoyable to both parties. He wondered how often it was that he'd looked down to see not the Norwegian but the swede. He wondered how often he'd hurt, how often his memories had pained him… how often he'd sought comfort only to be shoved away because Lukas found his clinginess annoying.

The thought made him frown and hate himself even more. What kind of boyfriend was he that he couldn't tell when the man he loved was hurting?

He sighed and did what he should have done from the beginning; he wrapped his arms around the Dane and hugged him. He held Matthias tight and refused to let go despite how much he hated showing affection. His face wasn't blank but filled with more emotions than anyone could count.

The taller blond blinked before returning the gesture. He didn't need to look at his boyfriend's face to know what was going on in his mind.

He was cursing Matthias for getting himself into the mess that was his past.

He was cursing Berwald for hurting the Dane.

He was cursing himself for not realising how much he was needed.

Matthias wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or cry, instead settling for holding onto the Norwegian as though he would never let him go.

.o.)O(.o.

Berwald had raped Matthias.

The words repeated like a mantra in Tino's head, eating away at him in ways he didn't think were possible.

Berwald couldn't have done that…

Matthias couldn't have done those things to the man he loved…

The swede's eyes told the truth though. The gaze was intense but also doubting and slightly hollow once you got past the intimidating glare. It was the uncertainty that got the Finn to speak; Berwald had always been sure, never doubting himself.

"…do you feel guilty about it? Would you take it back if you could?" Tino asked softly, forcing himself to meet the swede's eyes. He held the blue green gaze despite his own worries over what he'd see there.

Berwald sighed, nodding. "ja, ah would… ah'd take it back in a heartbea'… ah'm sorry Tino. Ah understand if ya hate me fer this…"

The last thing he was expecting was for the Finn to crash against his chest as he burst into tears. He'd been expecting cursing or even blows (Tino was hardly as innocent as people thought, after all he had been brought up in the Viking era) not for him to start staining his shirt with salty tears.

"…Tino?"

"…I'm sorry… it's just, I never knew…" Tino sniffled, his heart aching for what Berwald and Matthias had gone through. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"ah didn' want ta hurt ya…"

"You idiot… you god damned idiot…" the Finn mumbled, his cursing showing just how emotional he was over this. Tino only swore when it was warranted.

"Ah'm sorry…"

"No, I am…"

"Are we interrupting something?"

Both Berwald and Tino looked up at the bored tone, turning to look at Lukas and Matthias warily. At first glance they seemed exactly the same as normal but they couldn't deny the fact that the Dane's smile was more strained than normal or the glimmer of emotion in the Norwegian's eyes. Nor could they deny the fact that they stood far closer together than normal.

Lukas gazed at them intently for a moment before sighing. "Tino? Can I talk to you for a moment?" he asked softly. He waited expectantly, noting the Finn's second of distrust as he stood.

He remained silent until they were out of hearing range of the taller nations. "He told you?" he murmured, his gaze fixed on Tino's lavender eyes.

The usually cheerful nation nodded curtly. "Joo he did… Matthias as well?"

Lukas made no move for a moment before sighing as he nodded. "He did… I don't know what I was expecting but that wasn't it…"

"It'll be too much to ask for them to ever forgive each other won't it?"

The Norwegian didn't respond. He didn't need to.

.o.)O(.o.

Matthias was looking anywhere but at Berwald.

Berwald was looking anywhere but at Matthias.

The stand-off probably would have lasted even longer were it not for the Dane's attention span and the sheer length of time Tino and Lukas were missing. He still refused to look at his friend turned rival and enemy but that didn't stop him from speaking.

"So you finally told him huh?"

"Ja, ah did."

"They seem to have taken it alright…"

"Ja."

There words were clipped and to the point until Matthias finally sighed and deigned to look at the swede. His eyes were hard but contained a trace of nostalgia.

"We used to be like them… so close, I mean."

"Ja, but that's over."

"I know that Sverige… I know… maybe someday though…"

"Nej Danmark… we can' go back ta how we were… it's impossible."

The Dane sighed, craning his head so he caught a glimpse of light glinting off a distant cross shaped hair pin. "For us maybe… for them though…" he shook his head. "I looked after him best I could you know, during the war."

It took Berwald a moment to respond as he remembered the last civil conversation he'd had with the other blond. It had been on the eve of the Second World War, the day he'd found out that Tino, his beloved Tino, had chosen to side with Germany.

He'd put aside his hatred of the Dane that day, racing over to Denmark to beg the man to look after the Finn seeing as he was already caught up in the war. Matthias was being forced to fight for German along with Lukas was able to keep an eye on the smaller blond at least. He wouldn't forgive him for his own sake but when Tino was on the line…

He knew that Matthias also cared about the Finn just as he cared for Lukas.

"fer them maybe… but ah can' forgive ya Danmark."

"I know Sverige... I can't either."

.o.)O(.o.

Berwald forced himself to look at the man beneath him, to truly look. After that long conversation with him he knew that he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he hurt him.

Lavender eyes instead of a hard sapphire gaze.

A small form, soft instead of the muscular and large body he'd grown to hate.

Soft hands that teasingly traced his chest, not calloused fingers.

Pale hair spread out in a halo, slightly mussed but not messy.

Flushed cheeks instead of a cocky grin.

Tino, not Matthias.

He sighed softly, lowering his head to lightly kiss him as he continued reminding himself of the differences.

Moans and quiet murmurs instead of curses and crude comments.

Soft skin, almost completely unmarred by scars.

Whispered Finnish instead of grunted Danish.

He felt Tino shiver slightly at his touch, not from fear but longing. This was the Berwald he'd missed, the one that teased him with rough but surprisingly gentle hands, the one who made him feel loved. The Finn sighed, leaning into the touches he'd been longing for for centuries.

.o.)O(.o.

Matthias stiffened slightly as Lukas straddled his hips, fighting the instinctual urge to gain control as he gazed into dark blue eyes. This was Lukas he told himself, the Norwegian would never (purposely) hurt him anymore than he could intentionally harm him.

The dark gaze watched him intently, softening when the Dane relaxed. He offered a rare smile, brushing the very tips of his fingers against Matthias's ribs. The man's hands came up for a moment, Lukas sure he was about to be restrained as always had been the case when he'd tried to take the lead. He was surprised as they continued to ignore his wandering hands to brush against his shoulders.

Matthias smiled, looking slightly uncertain as he surrendered control. It was strange not be the one instigating each action but he ignored the slight fear that came from it. Instead he focussed only on Lukas, marvelling at the little things he'd forgotten.

How feisty he could be without losing his tender touches.

How he could dominate whilst utterly submitting to the Dane.

How his usually blank eyes glimmered with amusement when the Dane gasped.

How he shivered when he took him inside, panting slightly as he adjusted to the sensation.

Watching him like that Matthias wasn't sure why he had allowed himself to go so long without seeing him like this.

He wouldn't forgive Berwald for Berwald's sake.

But he'd give the world for Lukas.

**A/N2: the hair of the dog side stories will be updated as soon as possible, just bear with me okay?**


End file.
